We call them our friends, our homies, and our bff’s. We say they are our squad, our clique but do we really know who we are hanging with? Do we really know who is in our circle?

We sometimes allow familiarity to blind us from who is really standing in front of us. When we have known someone for so long, we almost refuse to truly acknowledge who we are dealing with because our love for them allows us to overlook the behaviors and attitudes that may be negatively affecting our spirit and constantly killing our energy. Have you ever been around someone and felt a sudden breath of fresh air once they leave your presence? Or have you found yourself in more peace when not communicating with a certain friend or loved one over a period of time?

Because we know that we are not perfect we willingly accept our friends and family as they are because who are we to judge. But if truth be told there comes a time when we must analyze who we roll with and how they disturb or captivate our energy. It is not a judgement call as much as it’s a wake-up call to re-examine who we are connected to.

 Sometimes we have become so accustomed to certain individuals that we hesitate to separate from them because we have become immune to them therefore allowing us to stay within reach because their negativity does not phase us although it penetrates us. No matter how much you love someone and no matter how long you’ve been “rolling” or how much you’ve always been there for one another there comes a point in which where you are heading does not have room for their baggage.

Sometimes we fear letting go because we don’t want them to think we are acting “bougie” or we don’t want them to think that we are a sell-out. But it is not about being “bougie” or a sell-out, but it is about protecting your destination from people who will constantly throw salt on your journey to prevent you from sliding into where you are meant to go. Let’s be real and realize that everybody who rolls with you is not for you and everybody that you roll with you cannot “soul with”.

There are people right now that you are sharing your aspirations with who are speaking against the very things that you are praying for. There are people in your circle right now who don’t like you as much as they tolerate you. There are people who attach to you so they can live off your success. They congratulate you in public and behind closed DOORS they say you’ll never make it. They do not truly believe in that sacred dream that you shared.

 

There are people in your life that will always steal your joy. There are people in your life who will always get you caught up in situations that you did not start. There are people in your life that will always drain you. There are people in your life who will never reciprocate the love and support that you give. There comes a time where you must recognize who these people are and ask God to give you discernment as to who to hold on to and who to let go of. We all have our flaws, so it is not about finding perfect friends and family, but it is about recognizing who and what disturbs your spirit, kills your joy, increases your pain and pulls you down.

There are people in your life who will purposely pull you down so that you don’t advance above them because they fear if you progress you will recognize them for who they are and leave them behind. They intentionally throw or create things in your path to deter you and cause you to stumble. When will you recognize them for who they are? When you keep hitting your head against the wall trying to figure out why you can’t seem to move up, look at who you are surrounded by and what you’re dwelling in. There are things that we do to hold ourselves back and there are times in which without realizing it, we allow other people to hold us back. Who are you rolling with? If we took more time to contemplate this maybe we could avoid a lot of heartache and chaos that we find ourselves in.

Sometimes it may mean taking a deep stare in the mirror and asking the simple question “Who am I and what am I accepting into my life?” How much of who we surround ourselves with aligns with who we see ourselves as? How much of your destiny are you willing to sacrifice for the sake of the “clique”? At times it is not merely about what people do to us as much as it is about what we allow ourselves to accept into our lives. You cannot control people’s actions nor can you control everything that happens to you, but you can control what you tolerate in your life. It’s time to decide if your ride or die is killing your calling.​​